hope and happyness through paperwalls

I still have dreams about you, happy dreams they are, dreams wherein we just saw each other then reconcilled and then kissed and we lived happily ever after. But on the day before the New Year, ive had basically the same dream but you cried when you saw me, yes, there was one teardrop that fell from your right eye. And you neeeeveeer cry!!! Thats the thing that strucked me. Since then i havent stopped thinking about you.

My friends tell me to let you make the first move and i just have to wait. Maybe you're not ready yet or you have a girlfriend or maybe you just really moved on (unlike me, obviously). What will happen, will happen. But sometimes i think i owe you that first move, since i was the one who broke up with you. Im sorry if ive given up that easily  that night when i told you to call it quits, gosh you dont know how badly i regret it until now.

I have loved you since that day when i called you my bestfriend. We were 12 then, wow 10 years have passed until now i have the same feelings for you, if not, only stronger. We saw each other when we were both invisible.

If this is not love, i dont know what is!! I always say to you then that i love you so much, actually, i love you too much.  I hated myself for letting you go and i hated you for letting me go. Now all i have are memories and evertytime i remember them, i feel like my heart is tearing in bits and pieces. I want to scream, i want to go to your whereabouts and find you, but i just cant, i cant because im a girl....and im afraid to hear you say that you dont feel the same way :( but if given a chance, i would. I would because i believe in our story i still have faith in you my love.

I wrote this because i know no one reads this blog, its basically for my sanity. Maybe there is a 5% chance that you might read this and if that happens, maybe thats God working His magic.

Well hello there! It's been a while, a loooooong while since I last blogged, roughly 4 years! I am now 21 years old and a sem away from graduating college. Yes, life is good! I won't say that it's been perfect but it's goooooood :)

Actually I've been thinking about blogging again for the longest time, but I can't seem to fit it in my life again. But hey look at me now, thinking and typing. Oh how I missed this!
One of the reason why I got back is cos I am currently reviewing for my CPA Board Exam and I just need to have an activity to direct some of my energy but still keepin my mind working during my study breaks.( my dorm room was not really as fun as I anticipated). Second, twitter's micro blogging and instagram's photoblogging can't seem to satisfy me enough. I just want to write and share my thoughts, though I know that there's a possibility that no one will read this, haha! And lastly, I am so inspired by so many good bloggers and writers out there thinking to myself, "Kat, you can do that too!"

Unlike my old posts, I would try to make the tone a little lighter this time. Whenever I read the old ones, I'm like "Who is that girl??" haha!

I am so excited to make this blog bigger and better! I have things lined up in my head, it makes me dance :)

things are so bad, i couldn't put them in words...

now i know that

moving on is different from letting go

You are always on my mind

all I do is count the days
where are you now?
I know I never let you down
I will never go away
I really wish that you'd stay but what can we do
all the days that you've been gone I dreamed about you
and I anticipate the day that you will come home, home, home


No matter how far you are
no matter how long it takes him
through distance and time
I'll be waiting




and if you have to walk a million miles
I'll wait a million days to see you smile
distance and time, I'll be waiting
will you take a train, to meet me where I am
are you on your way?
I will never do anything to hurt you
I'll never live without you
You are always on my mind
all I do is count the days
where are you now?

For the past few days, I'm learning to say goodmoring to myself and to God everytime I wake up. After a good night's sleep, starting the day with an open heart and free spirit can boost your energy for the coming day. Well, we don't know what that day has to offer us so better start it beautifully.


Well, it's holy week, the least I can do is to pray every morning and night, that can never amount to how Jesus have suffered. While I was in the church yesterday, I realized that His suffering was a no-joke, He suffered big time to save me, to save us. Even through all of that, Jesus neveer complained, so who am I to complain. The hardships and pain I have gone through and will go through my lifetime is just a tiny bit compared to His.


I have read a bunch of good inspirational books, and I am trying to share them to the people who I think are lost or want to know God more like I do.

Love moves in mysterious ways,
It's always so surprising
When love appears over the horizon
I love you for the rest of my days,
It's always a mystery
How you ever came to me,
Which only proves,
Love moves in mysterious ways.

God moves in mysterious ways,
It's always so surprising
How God appears over the horizon.
I love God for the rest of my days,
It's always a mystery
How God ever came to me,
Which only proves,
God moves in mysterious ways.

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge and all the others...including Love. One day it was announced to all the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the sea. So all the feelings prepares their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave.. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked "Richness, can I come with you in your boat?" Richness answered "I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you.". Then love decided to ask Vanity, for help who was passing with a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, " Vanity, help me please." I can't help you, you are all wet and will damage my beautiful  boat". Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you."  Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry but I need to be alone now." then, Love saw Happiness, Love cried out, but he was soo overjoyed that he cannot hear Love callin to him. Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will tkae you with me". It was an elder. Love felt so happy she even forgot to ask who that elder was. When they arrived, Love realized how much she owed the elder, but it's too late, the elder was gone. Love then found knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time", "But why did Time helped me when no one else wouldn't?" Love asked. Knowledge smiles and with a deep wisdoma nd sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."


This is a re-post, i just saw it while I was browsing for a privilege speech in our class.

Whether falling in love or moving on form it, all we need is the perfect time. But also, take note that Time is just an aid, we need to work on it  ourselves also.

I should have stopped,
I should have listened
I should have taken my time
I wish I didn't go down the line
Down to the last stream
It went out in a whim
I tried to hold on to it
But I think, I've danced the last beat
Doomed like a barren land
I couldn't do anything, so I ran
Through mountains, across pavements
Just to smell that precious scent again
I walked in my toes
Prick me hard, prick me harder
I'm numb and not feeling any better
I wish to sleep so I'll not feel it
I'm empty