hope and happyness through paperwalls

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

time understands love

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 2:52 AM

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge and all the others...including Love. One day it was announced to all the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the sea. So all the feelings prepares their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave.. She began looking for someone to ask for help. Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked "Richness, can I come with you in your boat?" Richness answered "I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you.". Then love decided to ask Vanity, for help who was passing with a beautiful vessel. Love cried out, " Vanity, help me please." I can't help you, you are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat". Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you." Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry but I need to be alone now." then, Love saw Happiness, Love cried out, but he was soo overjoyed that he cannot hear Love callin to him. Love began to cry. Then, she heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will tkae you with me". It was an elder. Love felt so happy she even forgot to ask who that elder was. When they arrived, Love realized how much she owed the elder, but it's too late, the elder was gone. Love then found knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time", "But why did Time helped me when no one else wouldn't?" Love asked. Knowledge smiles and with a deep wisdoma nd sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

This is a re-post, i just saw it while I was browsing for a privilege speech in our class.

Whether falling in love or moving on form it, all we need is the perfect time. But also, take note that Time is just an aid, we need to work on it ourselves also.

Monday, March 22, 2010

id risk to fall, just to know how it feels to fly

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 8:32 PM

Risk, it’s kinda small and easy thing to deal with until I had hardships myself.

I’m afraid, you can’t blame me.

Now I know that really, life is a waiting game. A love that started bad will end badly. You just have to wait until you can restart fresh and new to not be able to commit the same old mistakes again. \

Time and Love goes hand in hand.

girls react, women deal with it

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 7:52 PM

I know it has been a while since my last post, it’s just that my life is turning upside down these past few weeks.

Now I understand that, the more you go deeper in your faith, the more problems you’ll have. Sometimes, I think that it is too much for me to handle but come to think of it, these burdens maybe more than I would like to bear but less than I can take, I know im strong, I can get through this. I just don’t know when.

MOTIVES, we can never tell a person’s motives until and unless we’re in that person’s shoes or at least read minds. No one really knows what is going on a person’s mind when he\she does things. We can neither say its good nor bad. And, it is excruciating to know that the people who don’t know you can easily judge you, I never knew how hard it was until I experienced it myself.

I have no problem in getting over little fights with my sisters, but then, it is very painful to me that they actually think that I have no concern at all for our family. Im 17, I know things, I’m not a little girl anymore who just eat and sleep at our house. Atleast, I should have a say on what’s going on our household, especially, our mom is not around for quite some time. The only thing I wanna say, and I haven’t said this one, I wish they can realize that I also think for the betterment of everybody. And I am tired of showing them my brave face when actually, I’m breaking inside every time that we fight. Besides, they don’t know how hard it is to just be still and witness the changes in their lives, their decisions as well as the pressure of not redoing their mistakes.

I know, things will definitely not be the same again, but I miss the old times, I miss it when we were all just studying and dependent to our parents. Now, everybody’s movin out of the house and starting a new life, I feel for my parents, it’s as if, they’re leaving the three of us already.

So I guess I’ll have to plan my debut by myself. It’s sad but challenging. It’s very ironic that I want to be independent but also dependent at some point. I can’t even figure it out myself.

This summer, I want to earn my own money (I hope I can find a way how to) so that I can prove to my family and the people, that I can get things done with my own efforts with no one backing me up. Also, I want to bond with my old friends and have a time of our lives.

I MISS MY FRIENDS, I MISS MY MOM, I MISS IT WHEN I DON’T CARE ABOUT THINGS.

Monday, March 1, 2010

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 4:57 AM

made 100 steps forward and 101 steps backward

Monday, February 22, 2010

butterfly

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 4:40 AM

miss halfway now:

greets more people

tries making time efficient

does the things not usual

putting priorities first

sets aside worries

breaks new grounds

wants to make more change

and

BECOMING A BETTER PERSON EVERYDAY

Monday, February 8, 2010

catching bliss is not that easy

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 4:57 AM

The wind can blow hard and cover our face. At the time, we won’t be able to see clearly, irrationalized judgments, unparallel perceptions.

It’s really amazing how my last week have turned out. I was studying harder than ever for our exams, suddenly deleting my facebook account for no reaason, unexpected calls from a past person in my past relationship in my past life, a very high longing for my mother and a bunch of feuds with my sisters. But well, im ok now.

At those tough times, I tend to see no light in that darkness, but i was left very proud of myself, my faith kicked in! remember, last post I was talking about me praying for enough faith?. Well, now I should say, yes there is no such thing as enough faith but also, the littlest faith can put you through your darkest days. Why worry when you can pray?

Last Thursday, I actually didn’t know how to push through, but look, its already Monday, and I got over it.

Also, the homily last night put my faith one step farther, I learned, God’s help sometimes doesn’t interfere unless we’re loosing hope and we feel we have nothing. But the moment we think we’ve done our part, surrendering everything to Him is an undeniably good option to think about.

God Bless us all!:)

.kathleen.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

better best

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 4:33 AM

People really cannot settle for less, we can never have enough

We cannot have enough things to accomplish, money to spend, love to give, empathy to care, faith to become saints and many more. I think it is not that we want everything, but it’s man’s nature. We wish we have more.

This week, in my business organization class, the mentor wanted us to have a speech about leadership. I think I did great, but I wish could have done it better. Well, it’s done I cannot go back through time. But the point is, I know in myself , I’m better than that so next time, ill give my better best!

Sometimes, when I feel I’m at the peak of my faith, I pray. “Lord, I hope I’ve stored enough faith that can help me through the coming storms you planned for me”. But in time I proved that wrong, we cannot have enough faith, because God doesn’t give easy undertakings, He gives us the toughest ones, tougher than the last ones, more than we can imagine. The faith I’ve stored will somehow fall short. Giving me this ever-wanting feeling to acquire more faith every day I wake up in the morning,

I find it strange when I ask people “Are you happy?” Then they’ll say ”Yes, super happy”…after few months, asking them the same question..they’ll say “I’m happier than ever!”..so I therefore conclude, we can never have enough happiness, the happier we are now, the more we expect to be happier in the future.

We cannot do enough good, the moment we slip or just one fatal mistake, everything you’ve earned, they’re all erased and you’re back to zero again.

We cannot have enough love, the heart can stop beating and give up.or, the love a person has is not enough to make another love him/her back. Sometimes, love's just ain't enough.It’s a sad realization.

Also, I should say, we can never have enough experiences and knowledge. If experience is the best teacher, that teacher will not give the same exam questions over and over again right?..life is like an never ending textbook full of drills and problem exercises, we can never have enough of them to say we’re already good and that we know everything.

Things are just not enough.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

we all are like a child

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 3:43 AM

When we’re little, we all are afraid of the dark because of the monsters our parents used to get us to sleep. When we grow older, there are worse monsters: loneliness, heartaches, regrets and a whole bunch of problems that big people needs to face. Those are bigger monsters that still can make us afraid of the dark even we think we’re all good and stronger.

Sleeping is the easiest thing to do, you just have to close your eyes. But for some, it is the hardest thing to even grasp. The dark is scary that makes even re-opening the eyes is frightening knowing you’re all alone in the room, that somebody’s carefully watching you just waiting for his right timing to attack and hurt you,

But there are people, around us who are willing to not to go anywhere and leave us, people who wants to give their best shot on us, people who loves us though we can’t give them more than just our attention. All we need to do is to realize, we are not alone.

It is time to break grounds, set new parameters and be open to change. It is never awkward to be alone in the dark, we all have down and scary moments. It is ok to be afraid just like a child, it is ok only if you’ll get back to your normal self and realize that after the dark, there comes a light. It is not always night time, soon, dusk will come and the monsters that we made ourselves will be gone,

Friday, January 8, 2010

the end where we begin

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 11:10 PM

Time brings us joys and sorrows, love and heartaches, victories and disappointments. As 2010 approaches, I am so excited of what this year has to offer me. Yes, I have learned a lot from the past year but knowing how to apply it at the same time not ruining the present situation is a big dilemma for me. I wish I could make the right decisions this time.

INCONSISTENCY is my number one problem bout random things in my life right now, I’m used to plan a thing and think it over and over again in my mind then somehow I can make it happen and pull it off . After a while I lose interest and just stop doing it. I don’t if it’s what we call laziness. Maybe, I just really couldn’t stick on a thing and maintain that high commitment to get to the end or I’m just really good at planning but not on the “getting things done “ stage. This year, I wanna see clear and real results, I wanna see things change and improve before my eyes, and I cross my fingers for this and ofcourse work!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

down under

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 4:17 AM

I should have stopped,
I should have listened
I should have taken my time
I wish I didn't go down the line
Down to the last stream
It went out in a whim
I tried to hold on to it
But I think, I've danced the last beat
Doomed like a barren land
I couldn't do anything, so I ran
Through mountains, across pavements
Just to smell that precious scent again
I walked in my toes
Prick me hard, prick me harder
I'm numb and not feeling any better
I wish to sleep so I'll not feel it
I'm empty

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I wonder?...

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 5:16 AM

This Cold winter Breeze

Never seize to stop this night

I feel like I really am in fright

This feeling I can't seem to understand

Maybe because I just miss you tonight.

I feel some weird things on my chest

as I write this poem on my desk

My arms, my legs continue to weaken

as my mind asks "when will I see you again?"

Oh My Sweetest,

After Knocking me off my feet,

My heart had an unhealable disease,

When I'm with you, is the only time it beats.

I wonder if the time would freeze,

can we fly together?, please?

Im sorry, I can't stop but to wonder

It's just so hard for my mind not to ponder.

alas, I end my poem with this thought I pondered

You are everything,

if you can't have nothing more,

then I'll be nothing more.

but your lover.

Monday, November 16, 2009

love caged

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 12:48 AM

I had my fair share of my cryings and goodbyes,

The world saw how I got beyond the lines,

So I put my heart on a box and put it out of sight.

Just when I thought I was alone but fine,

You caught me off guard, I never needed any sign.

But still I am afraid to give myself to love one more time.

You said I was your sweetest dream you ever had,

I say, I want you back so bad.

I am not saying my goodbye nor forever,

So can we wait a while longer?

Cause things can never be the same again,

But hey, I really can't complain.

If I can just travel through time,

I'll go back and just let us be.

It's all because of me, I'm sorry.

There is no need for us to rush,

Time can heal her broken heart

And whatever the he-says, she-says

Someday, there will be a time for us

When no question will be asked

And no conceiling of happiness in our masks.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

happy birthday to me:)

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 1:15 AM

Thursday, November 5, 2009

by leaps and bounds

2 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 4:31 AM

I'd like to make myself believe

That planet Earth turns slowly

It's hard to say that I'd rather stay

Awake when I'm asleep

'Cause everything is never as it seems

fireflies by owl city

As I walk through the highlands of life, everything is tentative, things differ by leaps and bounds. I want to change the world but i'd rather sleep. I want to move mountains, but my hands are puny. I want to build permanent sandcastles, but everytime the water fills the shore, all I was left with was just the remains of my hopes and dreams. Everything is never what as it seems.

Have you heard the term "tempering of eggs" in cooking?

well, I don't have much knowledge about culinary techniques but I enjoy cooking and I've heard this term...

Since eggs is very easy to cook. Hastening to mix it with a mixture of higher temprature will cause it to scramble, and as cooks, we don't want that to happen. So, we add a small amount of a hot liquid into relatively cooler eggs in order to warm them up first after warming them up, you could pour the whole amount already.

Enough with the technicality stuff, I just thought, maybe doing things in a hurry is never good. Everything has a purpose and they have the right time to be made and achieved, this saying has already been quite used up, but it's true. We could also do things a little at a time, and doing this can let us think of brighter ideas as we go along.Temper the eggs, wait for the right time!

The last week, I realized, a lot of things must be taken seriously but we must go back to the very basic, and think of what realy matters the most for our own selves.

For the past nights, I had difficulties on sleeping, I had a conclusion...I am really a constant thinker, not sure if an over thinker but thinking has become a hobby for me. I can't help it, a thought will lead to another thought then another till I took notice that I am already not trying to sleep, instead just thinking. As of now, I am not seeing negative reactions about my constant thinking so I'll continue it ( as if I can stop it that easily?). And besides, thinking is an exercise right?

A thought that's really bugging me up is.."Is life really just black and white? or is it black and white with spendid colors?" . I am looking forward on answering that question in my head soon. You can help me if you want.^^

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I swam for a while. till I drowned.

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 12:24 AM

When I woke up this morning, some things are now different. My mom isn't yelling at me telling me to do things or go up from bed atleast, my dad is sleeping wth us in our room leaving the master's bedroom empty, I got a passing grade from my Accounting subject, I have a new schedule for this coming semester. Yeah, I can tell, a whole new bunch of stuff is going on.

I have been swimming deeper down under my self-made ocean for a little while letting myself vulnerable until I drowned, I was horrified when I knew, I was leaving in the past. Past people and past events, I have let them conquer my life. I know it's a lame and absurd thing that I must end..I was drowned and merely awackened.

Till last night, I was my daddy's little princess and my mommy's baby, well I am not saying that their princess and baby is gone, but let's say, I'm different now. Experienced. Changed.

I already know how to dream, dream for the future,myself's betterment. The past doesn't stand a chance on holding me back anymore, goodbye my yesteryear. And now I can say, I'm very ecstatic to worry about today's problem that can affect my tomorrow!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

i go back and fourth

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 7:16 PM

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me

I'm a ~~bitch~~, I'm a ~~tease~~

I'm a ~~goddess~~ on my knees

When you hurt, when you suffer

I'm your ~~angel~~ undercover

I've been ~~numb~~, I'm ~~revived~~

Can't say I'm not alive

You know I wouldn't want it any other way

by Meredith Brooks.

"I don't know exactly who I am, and I am stilll finding it, what I know is who I am not" .As I watch 90210 last night, I was thrilled by Jessica Stroup's character.

Yes, I go back and fouth, but who cares, I am only 16!

Sunday, October 18, 2009

still many miles to travel

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 9:40 PM

I am a good girl,

I don't smoke, drink nor party all night long

Simply living my life with solitariness,

And would like to keep it that way until I'm already successful

its what I enjoy at this point of my life

I believe that there is a time for everything

I am a good girl who believes that celebrating a debut

is what every girl should want

I love shopping with my mommy,

The shopping thing--can live without it

But I would die without my mom

Always yielding at the brighter side of negative things

is my first response

Simple mishaps can't easily burst my bubble

I want to discover new horizons

that would fit my puny and little arms

I want to know what I want and remain firm on it.

basically, yes,

I am still finding my wings to fly

Surely, tough times will come

but I have no worries,

because I am armored with experiences and love

maybe, I am still in the making of becoming

Sunday, October 11, 2009

familiarity takes its toll

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 3:45 AM

"Not all that glitters are gold, but maybe they are imperfect but not scraps."

When a person is put on the spotlight and enjoying the people's attention, it doesn't always mean that we can judge them.

A friend of mine doesn't give a damn if people are throwing shits behind his back, maybe because that is his nature. He even once said that he doesn't care about people who criticize him but insted, he'll focus more on the people who can appreciate his presence, I said, yes that's right but I asked him if being a popular guy especially not in the positive side doesn't bother him at all..obviously, he said no. Lately, I haven't heard much about him because we separated our ways since the end of our high school life. But now in college, people are still bragging about the scandals that he made or his wrong actions the whole time they knew him. I just say to them, "Yah, maybe he's not the perfect and most innocent guy but he doesn't give a damn so why not take care of your own craps before minding other people's."

Studying in a big university back when I was in High School, I've heard maybe the worst things 16 years old people can do (remains to your imagination because those are secrets I would like to keep with myself and those people involved )..and I found out that there are two types of high school junkies, the first is the salient and unbarred types who take responsibilities with their mistakes, I am not saying that that is the best thing to do but since the problem or instances are already there, they must be courageous enough to face the consequences. On the other hand, the those who are obscure and fades among the common, I hate them the most because they deny and fades that easy, as if nothing happened.

Maybe my friend belongs to that first group. That friend of mine happened to be an ex lover. First I thought standing for him, that he is not really that bad as what my friends think, was just because I love him and he's my boyfriend but now that we're apart, I still take his side and be defiant against others. Yes, maybe he've hurt me but I think he is one of the most genuine person I've known. I symphatize with him because thinking about it, there are more batchmates who did worse than him, but still he was the only one who was taken noticed by inconsiderate people while others are unexposed and stayed in ther shells keeping their good records..I think that's unfair.

After realizing this, I became scared of the people around me, I don't know who are my real friends anymore but one thing's for sure, we must not judge others by heresays, let's see it ourselves . Catching people off-guard is the worst thing we can do.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

haiku's and love

1 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 7:51 AM

Memories lavished
fleeting across this jammed mind
in my long misty night
but
I bid you goodbye

so long my wonderful love

at last peace has come

Saturday, October 3, 2009

W-A-N-T-E-D

0 comment/s created by Kat.No.Worries at 6:35 AM

Isn't it nice to have someone
..whom you know will answer your midnight calls?
..remember your birth date?..your favorite color?
..who take note of the things that you like the most?
..who will never fail to wish you had a good night sleep in the mornings?

well..that's really nice but sometimes.."The love for the unfamiliar and unideal draw people to make strange decisions..".

And sometimes, even if that "perfect and ideal" someone is already in front of you, you switch the game and choose the uncommon one.

I don't like playing safe..

But what is happening now that is somehow pushing me to change my belief?
Yes, I chose the unfamiliar, I stood for what I know was right and would make me happy but it seems like I also chose to be hurt?
I don't know...
May God bless me....

;;