Wednesday, September 23, 2009


Michael Buble Lost Music Video
Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And god I hope it's not too late
It's not too late
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your worlds crashing down
And you can't bear to fall
Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seem to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away
Lost by Michael Buble

 Indeed, you can not get something that you really, really want if it's not for you. No matter how hard we try, we can not change what's destined for us. 
Anyways, I became very troublesome this day. "We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance". As far as I know, my mind, body and soul can only take one milestone at a time, but now, they've all been getting to my nerves all at the same time. But these burdens maybe more than I would like to bear, but less than I can take, I'm sure.This day, I feel like I'm walking above the clouds. I feel very tired. I dunno, I'm really afraid on what might happen........

Monday, September 21, 2009

just a thought

 timidly affraid to be deceived
precised line in between
the boundaries are too unclear
in the shadows bewildered in fierce
too much of something
candid and oppulent suffering
but staying within invulnerability
torrid remorse and grief  

Saturday, September 19, 2009

agonizing endowments

I had a very long week, I even woke up today exhausted even after a good night's rest. 

My parents started it off, they are reassuring a party for my debut if I'll just be keeping my good grades this semester, that is heck impossible since I think I am getting a 3 in  "Fundamentals of Accounting" ...since when the  Fundamentals became  hard? Maybe, since I stopped studying...Whoa, maybe because I am still horrified with my past and  became so  apprehended on thinking about my future that I forgot my present. It seems like, they bumped my head and woke me up. I didn't want to be another disappointment for my parents who gave me everything I need. I don't want them to fell like they are a failure (because their words these past few  weeks sound like implying that they feel like they are such). I began to crack my brains and wanted to take some actions. And I am sure, the party thingy is just a thing for them  (even it is a big issue on me), they just used that to help me in my concentration. Then another mind bugger, .What if my best isn't good enough?I'm  afraid of doing my best.. What if I studied the hell out and still got a 3, disappointed my parents and didn't got a party I always wanted? Is expecting the worse case scenario bad?..

It has been four consecutive days since my friends has been confiding me their problems. One got a family problem, that I think was just brought by high expectations and doubts between them, another has a problem in his studies (which I also has, so we compared notes), and last night, a friend of mine had a spiritual disturbance which upto now she can't figure out. My mom always reminds me that I must not be affected with my friends'  problems because I got my fair share of them.. But even I am dead hungry or so tired that I want to lay in bed, I still try to listen to them and give my deepest and most sensible advices my brains could have. Maybe I had experienced that myself, I want to be that someone whom they can rely on through those tough times, because I know that when it's my turn, I can count on them, well, i am not expecting something in return but friends are supposed to be like that, right? Besides, their problems can be a tool for my enrichment too. 

But even those days were agonizing, I just say to myself,.."I must offer every happiness and sorrow, victories and losses, every thought, and every action of my every second for the Glory Of God."

photo by: 

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


I have crossed a thousand bridges
In my search for something real
There were great suspension bridges
Made like spider webs of steel
There were tinny wooden trestles
And there were bridges made of stone
I have always been a stranger and
I've always been alone
There's a bridge to tomorrow
There's a bridge to the past
There's a bridge made of sorrow
That I pray will not last
There's a bridge made of color
In the sky high above
And I pray that there must be
Bridges made out of love
I can see him in the distance
On the river's other shore
And his arms reach out in longing
As my own have done before
And I call across to tell him
Where I believe the bridge must lie
And I'll find it
Yes I'll find it
If I search until I die
When the bridges is between us
We'll have nothing to say
We will run thru the sunlight
And he'll meet me halfway
There's a bridge made of color
In the sky high above
And I know that there must be

Bridges made out of love

 I like this song very much!~

*there were lots of bridges  i wish i could cross*

Saturday, September 12, 2009

someday we will find love

You came to my life
When I didn't know how love can change my thoughts
Had so many doubts
Because I heard you broke somebody's heart

You light up my days
And suddenly love has captured my heart
But my dreams were young
That's the reason why we fell apart

When your eyes met mine
I knew you were the one
And I hope that one day we will find us back to love

Believe in me...
Just hold on...

Someday we will find love 
Where there's no concealing 
Where we will shine, love
Where our hearts will take us in our journey to life

When your eyes met mine
I knew you were the one
And I hope that one day we will find us back to love

To love...

music and lyrics by:

Olivia (Gentle Jazz)

Saturday, September 5, 2009

begin with the end in mind

I now have goals and dreams about my tomorrow...but how can I know if those goals are the right goals or should I say the path that would lead me to God's great plan ?Am I going to the right way or should I go on a detour?

"Begin with the end in mind" is to begin today with the paradigm of the end of your life as frame of reference or the criterion by which everything else is examined. Each part of your life's today can be examined in the context of the whole, of what really matters most to you. To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you are going so that you better understand where you are now so you can go to the right way towards the right direction. 

All things are created twice...There is a mental or first creation, then a physical or second creation where you make your plans into actions.

Friday, September 4, 2009

optimism through pessimism

wow....I can not believe on what I have become now. It has really been a hell yeah of a ride!

I'm not as optimistic like this before,

I don't get along with people like this before,

I don't set my goals like this before,

I don't make decisions like this before,

I don't appreciate things and people  like this before,

I haven't loved myself  this much before,

I haven't prayed this much  before.

Indeed, great things will come, we just have to wait. Optimism blooms in the midst of pessimism. Changes will come after the crisis, because you will be much stronger and seasoned by time and experience!

More changes to come!

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