Saturday, September 19, 2009

agonizing endowments

I had a very long week, I even woke up today exhausted even after a good night's rest. 

My parents started it off, they are reassuring a party for my debut if I'll just be keeping my good grades this semester, that is heck impossible since I think I am getting a 3 in  "Fundamentals of Accounting" ...since when the  Fundamentals became  hard? Maybe, since I stopped studying...Whoa, maybe because I am still horrified with my past and  became so  apprehended on thinking about my future that I forgot my present. It seems like, they bumped my head and woke me up. I didn't want to be another disappointment for my parents who gave me everything I need. I don't want them to fell like they are a failure (because their words these past few  weeks sound like implying that they feel like they are such). I began to crack my brains and wanted to take some actions. And I am sure, the party thingy is just a thing for them  (even it is a big issue on me), they just used that to help me in my concentration. Then another mind bugger, .What if my best isn't good enough?I'm  afraid of doing my best.. What if I studied the hell out and still got a 3, disappointed my parents and didn't got a party I always wanted? Is expecting the worse case scenario bad?..

It has been four consecutive days since my friends has been confiding me their problems. One got a family problem, that I think was just brought by high expectations and doubts between them, another has a problem in his studies (which I also has, so we compared notes), and last night, a friend of mine had a spiritual disturbance which upto now she can't figure out. My mom always reminds me that I must not be affected with my friends'  problems because I got my fair share of them.. But even I am dead hungry or so tired that I want to lay in bed, I still try to listen to them and give my deepest and most sensible advices my brains could have. Maybe I had experienced that myself, I want to be that someone whom they can rely on through those tough times, because I know that when it's my turn, I can count on them, well, i am not expecting something in return but friends are supposed to be like that, right? Besides, their problems can be a tool for my enrichment too. 

But even those days were agonizing, I just say to myself,.."I must offer every happiness and sorrow, victories and losses, every thought, and every action of my every second for the Glory Of God."

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  1. Natoe said...
    ohkei lang yan,
    Anonymous said...
    Its dead right that friends are supposed to "support" each other's being, comfortable with their strengths and weaknesses. The quality of a relationship being approachable to one another would be a catalyst for ideal resolutions.

    There would be times both parties has a problem, and there's no way you could think of such solution for the other; simply, pray for patient understanding for everyone and that may these problems be delayed for you to have time to think of solutions and resolve such obstacles. (Delayed in a sense that the problem wouldn't be popping out of your head everytime to give space for ideas more necessary) To resolve problems isn't easy, knowing that this is difficult gives discouragement, (I know since I've experienced such things) but never abandon your hope and faith. You continue God's plans and he would do the rest.

    Most of the time, its in the midst of doing what is according to God's plan where we'll think of the right solution.

    Remember: Changes for the better is always difficult but never impossible.

    Our lives is like a giant canvass; God is the hand that controls the brush, and the colors he uses is what we encounter within our journey. We are one of the distinct colors, one thing is, we simply have to blend in with the others. If such harmony have been made, the outcome would show our canvass as a beautiful masterpiece, a unique creation of God's wisdom.

    Take Care and God bless.. ^^

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