Wednesday, January 7, 2015

new year dream

I still have dreams about you, happy dreams they are, dreams wherein we just saw each other then reconcilled and then kissed and we lived happily ever after. But on the day before the New Year, ive had basically the same dream but you cried when you saw me, yes, there was one teardrop that fell from your right eye. And you neeeeveeer cry!!! Thats the thing that strucked me. Since then i havent stopped thinking about you.

My friends tell me to let you make the first move and i just have to wait. Maybe you're not ready yet or you have a girlfriend or maybe you just really moved on (unlike me, obviously). What will happen, will happen. But sometimes i think i owe you that first move, since i was the one who broke up with you. Im sorry if ive given up that easily  that night when i told you to call it quits, gosh you dont know how badly i regret it until now.

I have loved you since that day when i called you my bestfriend. We were 12 then, wow 10 years have passed until now i have the same feelings for you, if not, only stronger. We saw each other when we were both invisible.

If this is not love, i dont know what is!! I always say to you then that i love you so much, actually, i love you too much.  I hated myself for letting you go and i hated you for letting me go. Now all i have are memories and evertytime i remember them, i feel like my heart is tearing in bits and pieces. I want to scream, i want to go to your whereabouts and find you, but i just cant, i cant because im a girl....and im afraid to hear you say that you dont feel the same way :( but if given a chance, i would. I would because i believe in our story i still have faith in you my love.

I wrote this because i know no one reads this blog, its basically for my sanity. Maybe there is a 5% chance that you might read this and if that happens, maybe thats God working His magic.


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