Wednesday, September 23, 2009

LOST


Michael Buble Lost Music Video
Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And god I hope it's not too late
It's not too late
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your worlds crashing down
And you can't bear to fall
Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Things have seem to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away
Lost by Michael Buble


 Indeed, you can not get something that you really, really want if it's not for you. No matter how hard we try, we can not change what's destined for us. 
Anyways, I became very troublesome this day. "We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance". As far as I know, my mind, body and soul can only take one milestone at a time, but now, they've all been getting to my nerves all at the same time. But these burdens maybe more than I would like to bear, but less than I can take, I'm sure.This day, I feel like I'm walking above the clouds. I feel very tired. I dunno, I'm really afraid on what might happen........

Monday, September 21, 2009

just a thought

 
 
 timidly affraid to be deceived
precised line in between
the boundaries are too unclear
in the shadows bewildered in fierce
too much of something
candid and oppulent suffering
but staying within invulnerability
torrid remorse and grief  

Saturday, September 19, 2009

agonizing endowments




I had a very long week, I even woke up today exhausted even after a good night's rest. 


My parents started it off, they are reassuring a party for my debut if I'll just be keeping my good grades this semester, that is heck impossible since I think I am getting a 3 in  "Fundamentals of Accounting" ...since when the  Fundamentals became  hard? Maybe, since I stopped studying...Whoa, maybe because I am still horrified with my past and  became so  apprehended on thinking about my future that I forgot my present. It seems like, they bumped my head and woke me up. I didn't want to be another disappointment for my parents who gave me everything I need. I don't want them to fell like they are a failure (because their words these past few  weeks sound like implying that they feel like they are such). I began to crack my brains and wanted to take some actions. And I am sure, the party thingy is just a thing for them  (even it is a big issue on me), they just used that to help me in my concentration. Then another mind bugger, .What if my best isn't good enough?I'm  afraid of doing my best.. What if I studied the hell out and still got a 3, disappointed my parents and didn't got a party I always wanted? Is expecting the worse case scenario bad?..


It has been four consecutive days since my friends has been confiding me their problems. One got a family problem, that I think was just brought by high expectations and doubts between them, another has a problem in his studies (which I also has, so we compared notes), and last night, a friend of mine had a spiritual disturbance which upto now she can't figure out. My mom always reminds me that I must not be affected with my friends'  problems because I got my fair share of them.. But even I am dead hungry or so tired that I want to lay in bed, I still try to listen to them and give my deepest and most sensible advices my brains could have. Maybe I had experienced that myself, I want to be that someone whom they can rely on through those tough times, because I know that when it's my turn, I can count on them, well, i am not expecting something in return but friends are supposed to be like that, right? Besides, their problems can be a tool for my enrichment too. 


But even those days were agonizing, I just say to myself,.."I must offer every happiness and sorrow, victories and losses, every thought, and every action of my every second for the Glory Of God."

photo by: 
http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff220/Phonima/FluidTranquility.jpg 

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

bridges

I have crossed a thousand bridges
In my search for something real
There were great suspension bridges
Made like spider webs of steel
There were tinny wooden trestles
And there were bridges made of stone
I have always been a stranger and
I've always been alone
There's a bridge to tomorrow
There's a bridge to the past
There's a bridge made of sorrow
That I pray will not last
There's a bridge made of color
In the sky high above
And I pray that there must be
Bridges made out of love
I can see him in the distance
On the river's other shore
And his arms reach out in longing
As my own have done before
And I call across to tell him
Where I believe the bridge must lie
And I'll find it
Yes I'll find it
If I search until I die
When the bridges is between us
We'll have nothing to say
We will run thru the sunlight
And he'll meet me halfway
There's a bridge made of color
In the sky high above
And I know that there must be

Bridges made out of love

 I like this song very much!~

*there were lots of bridges  i wish i could cross*

Saturday, September 12, 2009

someday we will find love

You came to my life
When I didn't know how love can change my thoughts
Had so many doubts
Because I heard you broke somebody's heart

You light up my days
And suddenly love has captured my heart
But my dreams were young
That's the reason why we fell apart


When your eyes met mine
I knew you were the one
And I hope that one day we will find us back to love

Believe in me...
Just hold on...

Someday we will find love 
Where there's no concealing 
Where we will shine, love
Where our hearts will take us in our journey to life

When your eyes met mine
I knew you were the one
And I hope that one day we will find us back to love

To love...

music and lyrics by:

Olivia (Gentle Jazz)

Saturday, September 5, 2009

begin with the end in mind


I now have goals and dreams about my tomorrow...but how can I know if those goals are the right goals or should I say the path that would lead me to God's great plan ?Am I going to the right way or should I go on a detour?

"Begin with the end in mind" is to begin today with the paradigm of the end of your life as frame of reference or the criterion by which everything else is examined. Each part of your life's today can be examined in the context of the whole, of what really matters most to you. To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you are going so that you better understand where you are now so you can go to the right way towards the right direction. 

All things are created twice...There is a mental or first creation, then a physical or second creation where you make your plans into actions.

Friday, September 4, 2009

optimism through pessimism

wow....I can not believe on what I have become now. It has really been a hell yeah of a ride!

I'm not as optimistic like this before,

I don't get along with people like this before,

I don't set my goals like this before,

I don't make decisions like this before,

I don't appreciate things and people  like this before,

I haven't loved myself  this much before,

I haven't prayed this much  before.

Indeed, great things will come, we just have to wait. Optimism blooms in the midst of pessimism. Changes will come after the crisis, because you will be much stronger and seasoned by time and experience!

More changes to come!

Monday, August 24, 2009

a way to substance

Since the beginning of my summer, I began to think about things that had happened to my life this past year.  The people that came and eventually went,the many unexpected things that i wasn't able to think that can happen,even in my imagination..though its hard, I had many realizations and acceptances about my short life here in earth. .

This year, im beginning my college life,more people to meet and more responsibilities await me. I became very busy about the field I chose but i think Im doing a great job in balancing my new friends, old friends, my family and studies.

I don't know if I'm late or now is just a right time for this, but its just now that I have made up my mind with my goals in life. My vision on what I want myself to look like in three months and for ten years. I realized that I must have short term and long term goals. The long term goals are some things big while the short term goals are what will keep you busy and excited everyday.

"For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"(Mark 8:36). For the last months I became an active prayer, everything I do, I make it sure that I am doing it with God. But these past few days are becoming worst and worst....One thing that I'm happy about what I have become now is that every thought becomes a cycle, I'll have a thought, then be negative about it but later on, learning that it has a purpose..so everything ends with a prayer now. 

Thursday, August 13, 2009

dafraud

though its hard living without you

and waking up is hard to do

from the dream i thought came true

im trying to make it through

here i am truly missing you

but what can i do? i have to

i have to do things on my own

earlier, i should've known

that we were not meant to be

and you were just defrauding me

now that the storms are over

and i am no more a sober

my sweetest revenge is to live merry

no matter how much you're sorry

the paradise lost is now found

happiness will soon come around

Saturday, August 8, 2009

through the night

as i lay me down to bed at night

when no one is watching

there is this sadness that drowns my soul

anxiety that never stops till it reaches my bones

being all alone with no light scares me

becoming weak and vulnerable is all i can be

after a while, dusk comes

there goes the happy sun

bringing hope of the new tomorrow

it ends my emotions and sorrow

i can feel God's warmth and caress

through the beams of light before my eyes

after the night's despair

holding on to His promises is all that i can do

to make it through the night

and in mornings, ill delight!

Friday, June 26, 2009

one of these days

I didn't notice
But I didn't care
I tried being honest
But that left me nowhere
I watched the station
Saw the bus pulling through
And I don't mind saying
A part of me left with you

One of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you
I hope and I pray
Waiting to find a way back to you
Cause that's where I'm home

Did I make you nervous?
Did I ask for too much?
Was I not deserving one second of your touch?

What would you do if I could have you?
Oh if I could
I'd let you feel everything I'm thinking
Wouldn't that be nice?

One of these days
I won't be afraid of staying with you


by: Michelle Branch

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

ever present past..

FIRE.  We all tend to focus our energies on putting out the fire and making sure that it will never come back again. The harder we try, the more painful it is and at some point or another, a fire that has been put out instantly can spark again and become larger than it was before.

Sometimes, we realize that we have fallen into that same trap all over again, once is not enough for some so the past become their present.

Does it worth another shot or do we just let that little spark  be extinguished on its own forever?

The lessons from the past can make you stronger, so the next time you can encounter the same thing, you know what to do and handle it like a pro.

But the future is so uncertain, putting your hopes higher can make you fall deeper this time.

Friday, June 5, 2009

it is what it is

In this world, the hardest person to understand is YOURSELF.

It is what it is, it is not what you have planned, it is not what you want to happen but it is what it is. 

The future is so uncertain as we all say. We can never know what's in store for us.  Failures are common but it is when we fail that we actually learn. There are two kinds of approaches that people tend to make after failure. First is, doing the same thing but expecting a different result. And second, the "hopeless" approach, when all you can think to do is to  give up.

In Physics, "The strongest part of an object is at its weakest". Other people say that depending on God is a weak thing to do but when we realize how important He is  to our lives, not depending on Him is like saying that you don't need water or sunlight to live. There is no other way  but His way!

So, WHAT WOULD YOU DO WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO? 

God knows what to do when you don't. Always ask for His wisdom and when you find that wisdom that applies to your situation, you can depend on His way.

Truly, we can not do anything on the things that already happened because it is what it is. But it is our ways now that can change the future. No matter how hard it is, just Keep Breathing.:0

Sunday, May 24, 2009

chip on my shoulder

my fortress failed to protect me

leaving a weak and fragile body

still immensed with the promises you made

in my own blood i bathe

long, sleepless nights

nothing can soothe my weary mind

cant have fair decisions

silence can never answer my questions

just want the honest truth

'cause this burden has to know its root

photo by: nubar.com

DISTRESSED



a night sky filled with swirling clouds

stars ablaize with their own luminescence and abright crescent moon

below the rolling hills of the horizon lies a small town

there are structures in the distant lit up in a warm glow of light

there is no blue without yellow and without orange

"starry starry night"

for they could not love you

but still your love was true

and when no hope was left in sight

you took your life as lovers often do

but i could have told you,

Vincent

this world was never meant for one

as beautiful as you

 

Monday, May 18, 2009

I've seen the movie "Enchanted" last night...after i removed my ex's picture on my table...kinda sad but...a relief..perhaps..

To make the story short, Giselle,an otherworldly princess who falls to Earth met Robert, a divorce lawyer..

With her as a "happily ever after girl" and him being "all things must come to an end, forever is impossible man"...Surely, there would be a clash of ideas  between them.

The Disney movie,as expected, ended with a happily ever after with Robert realizing Giselle was his one great love. Putting mine and other girls'  hopes up.

but..

Truly, we can never know if there's a true prince charming for us or just silly men who'll break our hearts after we've done everything. 

Happily ever after???...Its rare but it can happen...

I know it will happen..

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

reframing the picture

There was a family of bald eagles. When the eggs hatched, Mama and Papa Eagle were attentive to their offsprings, taking turns hunting for food and guarding the nest. But one day both parents disappeared. the eaglets have nothing to eat and no protection from bigger eagles...

Reframing the picture of the lonely and poor eaglets, the Mama Eagle was just at the  nearby branch watching over them.

Sometimes, we fear that God has abandoned us. Looking only at the nest with the eaglets proves that our visions are limited. And we only see a small part of the entire scene. 

In Deut. 32:7-12, Moses used the imagery to describe God. As eagles carry their young, God carries His people.  He will never abandon us, He is watching so we don't have to fear the dangers around us. 

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

better with you!

I wish that without me your heart would break

I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake
I wish that without me you couldn't eat
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep

 I wish I was your favourite girl
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style
 
Basically, I wish that you loved me
I wish that you needed me


Friday, May 8, 2009

"you and i"

since it became "you and i"
i knew every morning will have a sigh.
you break my heart everytime you don't come
but glue it all with your face so calm.
so tell me, how can i hate you honey?

i hope that "you and i"
could be a fairytale i always wish for
we never really became that strong,
but look, we haven't travelled that long

for now, "you and i" are separating ways,
but still having our invisible string
we're heading on the same direction
no matter what they say

ill never stop loving you,
ill just stop living for you
"i" will live my life for the mean time
its upto "you" to decide.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

if tomorrow never comes..

we can never know what lies ahead..


What if tomorrow never comes?


Is the love you've shown enough to last?

Have you danced like there's no tomorrow?


Have you kissed like there's no goodbye?


Have you laughed with tears in our eyes?


Have you prayed like no one's listening?



So tell that someone that you love
Just what you’re thinking of.


Lipsticks fade...
Flowers wither...
Life is temporary...


TOMORROW MIGHT NOT COME.

;;
 
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